Intergenerational Responsibility and Resource Allocation: How Personal Beliefs and Family Dynamics Shape Elder Care Decisions among Children in Henan

China’s rapidly aging population and declining family size have intensified pressures on adult children to reconcile traditional filial obligations with modern caregiving constraints. This study investigates how intergenerational responsibility and household resource allocation shape children’s willingness to support institutional elder care in Henan Province. Employing a mixed-methods explanatory sequential design, survey data were collected from 628 respondents across urban and rural strata, supplemented by qualitative interviews. Measurement and structural model analyses demonstrated strong reliability and validity (e.g., AVE > 0.60, Cronbach’s ? > 0.78). Results indicate that filial responsibility beliefs (? = ?0.26, p < .001) and emotional closeness (? = ?0.19, p < .001) reduce support for institutional care, while financial strain (? = 0.17, p < .001), resource allocation priorities (? = 0.14, p < .001), and sibling conflict (? = 0.11, p = .001) increase willingness. Moderation analysis further revealed that traditional gender role attitudes strengthen resistance to institutional care, especially in rural households. Qualitative findings highlighted emerging narratives of “conditional filiality,” where institutional care is reframed as compatible with filial duty if paired with emotional engagement. Taken together, the study suggests that elder care decisions in Henan reflect a dynamic negotiation between enduring cultural norms and pressing socioeconomic realities. Policy implications point to the need for integrated elder care systems that alleviate financial burdens while aligning with cultural values, thereby enabling sustainable caregiving models in China’s rapidly transforming demographic landscape.